Sunday, May 22, 2011

journal of loneliness: the hanker

Posted by usoPkuChai On 12:31 PM No comments


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02:53 AM. what in heaven am i doing? still awake at this late hours. i can't sleep for like three or four night in a row. i forgot to count. two thin guys and a fat guy doing a version of il divo in cnbc. jay leno's show. faizal tahir sound frustrated while singing 'coba'. lit a cigarette and reach for my black cup. only filled with a brown stain left by my evening coffee earlier. close a few books and stack it up beside my desk.

a friend of mine, whom recently just arrived jakarta on a fresh new contract, already sailing far way through the sea of dream. on the first night, he had night job and i found him sleeping on the floor in his sleeping bag. told him next time to sleep on the bed. i felt uneasy to let my guest slept on the floor. but then on the next night, he did slept on the right side of the bed, but still with his sleeping bag. i guess he prefer not to share a blanket with me. prevention of the unexpected, may be.. hee..

these several weeks, some guys from malaysia arrived for a new contract. new project has begun. so i was occupied for most of the time. i am going back soon. don't have anything in mind yet. i guess i would take a break for a couple of months before i would start thinking the next plan. maybe to i could have more time with venus, instead of waiting in hope for the tag to turn green everyday. but it was grey for such a long time. it could be because of me.

put my nicotine's stick on a blue ashtray. i also got another ashtray, green on color, left by my other friend whom moved to the apartment. the kost life was too self restrain for him. i was failed to visit him since his first day in the new apartment. i curbed myself on this black sofa for quite some times now. no night out. just dropped in the ambassador door for a dinner with the new guys, but for the past few night turn off the invitation. just not in a mood for social event.

i just got my passport for one more single entry stamped on page 32. one more exit before i could send it for my kitas cancellation. not a big deal for me. hence, venus was never green anymore. push my ass up to the refrigerator.. ahh.. i found a kitkat. don't remember buying it. could be left over from my previous flight. slice it, break and into my mouth. crunchy, sweet. satisfied my night time craving.

|< [rewind]

last week, i was supposed to entourage a friend for sort of interviewing a vacant position in his company at semanggi. young smart guy, neat shirt tucked in a black trouser, with a stylish bally's shoes. his long black hair wave freely to a blow of the wind. sharped guy. i was late actually. half an hour late. two girls sat with hisham outside the burger king.

i knew one of the girl, sandra. in fact, i was the one who introduced her to him. reached my hand for a greet's shakehand and hold the other girl's hand long enough while asking for her name. skinny girl, long straight red hair, chinese looking face, small nose, nice smile moulded on her thin lips. soft voice and soft skin. puput, she introduce herself. sundanese was my guess. and a nice small round butt. yup, i did check it when we moved to another cafe for a coffee. rare to find such an asset in asian lady. but venus does acquire it.

so i took a sit in between the lady, and we talked, as professionally as i can. obviously, i can't take my eyes over puput. sandra pinched my thigh one time, that was when i put my hand on puput's back of the chair. before the end of the meeting, i wrote my number on the sugar sachet and dare puput to call me. i told her that she will never dare to call me and put a bet on it. she agreed with the timeframe i gave her and tried to convinced me she will call me without excuse. we laugh and ended the session. i, again, take a longer time shook her hand, to felt the softness from her cold palm. we sent each other away with a glimpse and went back on different way.

few days after that puput did called. we went out for a movie. nothing interesting actually. since the dispute between indonesian government and some hollywood movies distributor, not many good movies available for puput and me to enjoy that night. we changed plan and went to a cafe which have a live music. and acoustic band performing nice and easy selection, creating a lovely ambience. we ordered a drink, juice and juice, and chatted the whole night while sharing one sofa together. she smells like angel. her long soft red hair smells like a garden of roses.

her soft cold palm clasped on mine when the band played his favorite song. tompi's track of selalu denganmu. she bow her head shyly when cleaved apart her hair slowly and whispered the song at her ear. by the time the song ended, she leaned over and give me a hot kiss in the cheek. hot enough that i leaned back to her and kissed her sweet wet half-open lips which she submitted defenselessly. and i don't really remember the rest of the night. don't remember what was the next song. don't remember whether we did ordered another drink. don't even remember what time we left the place. and i don't even remember venus that night.

>| [fast-forward]

take my final cigarette stick from the red box and lit it up. sinking my ass back in the black sofa. throw the red wrapper of the kitkat to the brown dustbin near the brown refrigerator. yovie and novie track fo janji suci are next on my winamp playlist. looking out through my six foot glass window into the dark of the night. i can see several bats flying around the tree outside my room. i just notice their existence few weeks back.

it will be another weekly 10:00 am meeting tomorrow. i haven't attend it for more than a month now. nothing to feed my interest, just a bunch of young journalist discussing what could be the big news for coming week. premature speculation. i still have my dateline on wednesday. planned to fly back this coming weekend for a week holiday. perhaps i could find venus. hate her but i missed her. but i think she hate me even more and didn't missed me. don't wanna know. must keep my mind on the positive side.

rio febrian wheeping maafkan from my sonicgear speaker. the snores of my friend is already at his second phase. louder and begun to off ryhtm. look at my black cup. i dont think so.. i need a sleep.

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